I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
