Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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