You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
