But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
