what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
