I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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