Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize