Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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