so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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