I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
