Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
there is puke in my bra ... again
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
