No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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