he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
