I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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