I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
