there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
