so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
