This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
