you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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