did you get engaged???
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize