was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
