Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
