His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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