somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Bring me that man meat
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