I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
