Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
