I'm lost and stupid without you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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