i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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