I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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