you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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