don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
