Can Purell be used as lube?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
