I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
