): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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