This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.