idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis