can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL