Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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