you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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