marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
