took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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