I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
His nipple licking is glorious
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