so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
