we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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