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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
50% drunk capacity currently
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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