In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
