Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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