I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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