You really coming over, don't trick.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
