good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think your dad took our porno
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
