If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
