if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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