mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
