thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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