saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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