I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
