farters have to be the big spoon...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
