At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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