my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
