Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
